Just by having
a coach and chatting on a regular basis, you will get value. You
don't have to work hard for benefits to occur. This is because the
synergy that occurs as a result of the coach and client relationship
is what makes the biggest difference to a well-motivated client.
However, there are ways to maximize the value of the coaching relationship.
Below are ten suggestions I recommend to my clients:
on how you feel and want to feel, not just on what you want to produce.
Sometimes, clients feel the need to focus the coaching time on how
to produce more tangible results. But don't forget the intangibles,
such as feeling happier, more peaceful and more inspired. Results
are very important, but the feelings you experience during your
day are equally important. Enjoy having both.
2. Talk about
what matters most to you.
You may talk about anything you want to during the coaching session.
This includes your goals, your life, your needs, what you want to
improve, what's bothering you, an idea you have, a problem you are
dealing with, even stuff that may not appear to be all that "useful"
to talk about. It's surprising what a difference it makes in the
long run when you focus on what you most want to talk about during
coaching, not what you think you "should" talk about during the
session in order to get the most value from your session.
yourself so that you see and experience things earlier than before.
Time is collapsing -- meaning that things are happening faster
and faster; the pace of change continues to increase. For some,
this causes stress because they feel both the pressure to keep up
and the fear of getting left behind. But for others, this phenomenon
is a chance to recognize opportunities as they occur, instead of
seeing them too late. How does one do this? By reducing whatever
is clouding your ability to see or numbing your ability to sense.
This process is called "sensitizing yourself." The more you can
feel, the faster you can respond to events and opportunities. You
sensitize yourself by reducing or eliminating alcohol, television,
adrenaline, stress and caffeine.
4. Feel coached
during the 10,000 minutes of your week not just the 30 minutes of
There are 10,080 minutes in a 7-day week. Coaching occurs throughout
your week, not just during your coaching session. What we talk about
during your sessions will resonate with you during your week and
you will find opportunities to integrate, utilize, and grow what
was discussed. All you have to do is to fully live your life between
coaching sessions and be open to seeing what we have talked about.
the drain and strain in your life.
Coaching works because it focuses you in two areas. First, you'll
be helped to stretch yourself further, take more actions than you
would on your own, and devise/implement effective strategies to
get what you want. At the same time, you will also be identifying
and reducing things that drain and strain you, such as tolerations,
stressful situations, difficult relationships, pressured environments
and recurring problems. So, don't just hoist a bigger sail, make
sure there are no cracks or barnacles on the hull of your boat.
6. Get more
space, not just time, in your life.
Coaching needs room in order to work. If you're too busy, rushed,
or burdened, you'll be using coaching to push yourself harder, instead
of using coaching to become more effective. I strongly suggest that
you put some projects on hold, reduce your roles, simplify your
day, reduce your goals, streamline your work, install personal management
systems, etc., before or immediately after starting coaching. Simplification
gives you space. Space is needed to learn and evolve beyond where
you are today.
Coaching is about you and what you most want. You want to become
selfish in the sense that you, your health, and well being are top
priorities. When you are happy and are doing well, others will benefit
8. Be open
to seeing things differently.
In coaching, you will be working with your goals (called, the "'what")
and your strategies to reach these goals (called, the "how"). But
you will also be working on you (called, the "who"). In other words,
you will get more out of coaching if you are willing to relook at
some of your assumptions, ways of thinking, expectations, beliefs,
reactions and approaches to success. There are always newly developed
concepts, principles, distinctions and evolutionary steps to learn.
You will never be forced to make changes given they are so personal,
but I do ask that you consider different approaches and ways of
thinking and try them out to see if they work for you.
9. Be willing
to evolve yourself, not just develop yourself.
Coaching is both a developmental process as well as an evolutionary
one. In other words, you'll be learning how to accomplish more with
less effort -- this is the developmental aspect of coaching. But
you will also be thinking differently and expanding yourself and
your world, which I call evolving. Evolving is a skill worth learning
because life itself is evolving, not just developing.
and strengthen your personal and business environments.
The value of coaching can be extended if you use part of your coaching
time to design the perfect environment in which to live and work.
Where you live and how you live are key to your success. Who you
spend time with and are inspired by can make the difference between
success and failure. Be willing to invest some time -- and money
-- in improving your environment so that you feel supported to be